No Touching!

After teaching for two years and having very good relationships with some of my students, I never felt motherly towards them. Perhaps more big sister. At Auriane’s tennis match I felt more motherly. We arrived early and sat inside to get out of the wind. A male friend came up from behind her and put both hands on her sholders. I immediately got that middle school feel that he was into her and just smiled. He looked so much older than her; 13 while she looks 9 or 10. Anyway, Anne left the room and I was with the two of them watching their conversation develop.

Alan came and said that Auriane should warm up and she went for a quick run around the parking lot with her friend. When it was her time, she entered the court and sat down, holding her arm. She had an injury a while ago and she seemed to be dealing with it fine but her holding it before the match was not a good sign.

Auriane began by loosing the first three rounds, she sat down and began to sob. I felt horrible and Ann walked away. She said that she it was hard to watch and not be able to do anything. I guess that is one of those things that mothers (and fathers) have to deal with that we, as children, do not think about. It is hard to see your child fail and just be there. She wound up winning the next round with some support from us, but lost the game.

What do you say when the person comes out? Good job? What if it wasn’t a good job? Better luck next time? What if it is not luck? Perhaps if I knew her better I could think of what to say, but instead I just was quiet as I was proud of her for coming back the fourth round but did not want to dwell on this.

Her “friend” came over and put his hands all over her. Not in a horrible way, but a middle school way that I wanted to be the teacher and say “no touching!” Perhaps that is why I did not feel any issues with my students, I knew the boys and the girls and I could just say “no touching.” I did not know this guy though and he was all hugging and squeezing her. He even lifted her up on his shoulder, I wanted to hit him, in the most loving way, but instead looked at the ground and just kicked some dirt around. Being a parent has got to be a lot harder in ways that I have not really thought about.

Anyway, Auriane got over her loss quickly and went off with her friend. She accepted her award for making it to the finals and enjoyed some snacks, then we were headed for home.